For the last year, I've had on my mind thoughts of Ayla turning eight, thoughts of her learning and loving the scriptures the way she seems to, thoughts of her being baptized. Yesterday on the way to work, I thought of her again as I drove.
I thought of of what it felt like to hold her for the first time, when she was just a few minutes old. I remembered the tiny, cute little capillary arteries in her eyelids that made her beautiful infant face seem all the more feminine. I remembered cutting the umbilical cord, feeling a sense that Heavenly Father was turning her over to me and to her mother – she was now our responsibility. I remembered the sweet and powerful spirit she had about her. She seemed so innocent and helpless, like a wondrous little stranger in a new and faraway place. Yet she seemed content. So much potential, and so much ahead of her – what would come of her life? I couldn't help but wonder.
While I drove, the joy overwhelmed me as I thought about her feeling the miraculous power of sin being remitted for the first time. I thought about the joy I have felt at being clean like that – especially after all the hard work I've often had to do to be able to feel that way. The thought of her experiencing that joy in a way that only baptism can bring was overpowering. I'd seen grown men weep at the life-changing power that comes with being baptized. Ayla would get to feel that incredible joy too, and very soon!
This whole day was riddled with moments of inexpressible joy. The insurance medical examiner came, and joy displaced thoughts of needles and blood pressure. The frustration of picking up Owen's mushy, mashed, brown banana off the floor for the third time was drowned out by thoughts of of seeing Ayla all dressed in white, going down into the water with her grandpa. When we left the house to run errands, we stopped by the flower shop, and the joy overflowed again as I picked out flowers: yellow tulips and roses, an orange lily, and some blue flowers the florist called “stock” - and of course, I couldn't forget a yellow and a red rose for Bessie so she wouldn't feel left out. Even dragging a two-year old, kicking and screaming, out of “the fish store” could not dampen the joy of this special day!
After getting home, eating some lunch, and taking a nap, we hurriedly got dressed and jumped in the car. A three-car crash near I-80 in Salt Lake slowed the traffic to a crawl, making me wonder if we were going to get there on time. We stopped to pick up Kohleen, then continued on our way. The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful. Shelley and Kohleen talked, and Owen slept, while I drove. In Ogden, I couldn't help but notice the same irony I see every time I come to the intersection of 21st and Washington: the Ogden Temple on one side, and a Conoco gas station I don't feel safe stopping at on the other. Right about then, Ayla's mom called to let us know that we should head for the chapel and not the Siggards' house – she would show us where to go once we got inside the building. I stopped at the Valley Market, crossing my fingers and hoping that a small-town grocery store in the middle of nowhere would still be selling blank cassette tapes in the twenty-first century. I needed one for Shelley's tape recorder. No such luck. The words of the baptism and confirmation would have to be reconstructed from memory.
We arrived at the chapel early enough to wonder if we were the only ones there. I parked out front, adjacent to the highway where my family would see our van and know they were in the right place. Of course, once he got out of the van, Owen wanted to do “one-two-three” and have Mommy and Daddy swing him. We obliged him a swing or two before coming to the chapel doors, only to discover they were locked. We no sooner turned around to look for another way in, than John, Ayla's uncle on the Siggard side, came and opened the door for us. We found the chapel all abuzz. Carla was frantically guiding food in the general direction of the kitchen, Ayla in the general direction of the dressing room, and everyone else in the general direction of a cultural hall that still needed tables and chairs set up. Papa Siggard and Uncle Jeremiah were handling the setup in the cultural hall, so Uncle John and I worked feverishly to finish setting up chairs in the room next to the baptismal font. Tatjana and Marne practiced their musical number while people talked. Somewhere in the mayhem, Grandma and Grandpa Smith, Brandon and Emily and crew, and the DeYoung gang showed up. We chatted with them in the foyer for a few minutes until it was time to start the baptism.
Quickly, people gathered into the small room. I found a spot between Shelley and Kohleen, and sat down.
Grandma Smith gave a beautiful talk about being clean, and about how baptism would be Ayla's first saving ordinance. The day would come when Ayla would get to go to the temple, but today, she was going to be baptized! She gave Ayla a beautiful white towel to use after the baptism – it had her name and the letters 'C-T-R' embroidered in gold. She explained that being baptized was like being made clean and white, just like the towel. She talked about how when you use a towel, it gets dirty and needs to go in the washer. She talked about how, like the towel, we all get dirty over time, but if we repent, we can be washed clean again.
Then, Brother Noel announced that it was time to perform the baptism. Grandpa Smith and Uncle John went forward to take their place as the witnesses. All the kids in the room moved up to the front and sat where they could see through the glass. I went up, holding Owen, and stood next to Grandpa Smith just in time to see Papa Siggard and Ayla come out of the side and down into the font.
Papa Siggard put his right arm to the square and began to speak: “Ayla Kaslin Smith – having been commissioned...” He gently lowered Ayla down into the water. Her feet came up with a splash, and Papa Siggard had to try again. The second time, Ayla was completely immersed, and came up out of the water. I felt the Spirit there, and I knew that she had been washed clean.
Tatjana and Marne sang their rendition of the Primary song about the fourth article of faith while Papa Siggard and Ayla changed their clothes. Ayla came out in a white dress, still wet, but with a glow in her countenance – she was positively radiant!
Ayla's mom talked about how you have to listen to the Holy Ghost and do what He says. She talked about how the Holy Ghost can't stay if we let ourselves be influenced by bad things or bad situations. She talked about how, if we work hard to obey Heavenly Father, we can always have the Holy Ghost to guide us and protect us from danger, and this is Heavenly Father's way of rewarding them that obey Him. She then gave Ayla the scriptures we'd gotten her. They had a green cover and gold-leaf edges.
Brother Noel announced that it was time for the confirmation. Between Brother Noel and myself, we managed to invite the priesthood holders in the room to join us in the circle. The men shuffled around us, waiting for my lead to place their hands on Ayla's head.
I don't recall everything I said, word for word, but here's an attempt to reconstruct the blessing I gave her today, following her confirmation as the newest member of the Church:
“Ayla, you have been baptized and have made a covenant with your Heavenly Father today, and by virtue of that covenant you have been washed clean. This means that if you've ever made a mistake you wish you could forget, or done something you wish you hadn't, or if you've ever had any hard feelings toward anyone, as far as your Heavenly Father is concerned, those things are forgotten, gone, just like they never happened.
Being clean inside like this causes great joy. I would urge you to work hard to stay clean, and work hard to be the best kind of Ayla you know how to be so you can always have that joy in your heart. Ayla, you can always trust your Heavenly Father. If you'll always , always trust your Heavenly Father and do what you know he expects you to do - no matter if you're afraid, no matter if people think it's silly – if you'll always trust your Heavenly Father and do what he asks you to do, you can always keep that joy in your heart.
Today, you have been instructed through the priesthood to receive the Holy Ghost. This means listening. Just like the words you sing in Primary, this means that if you'll listen with your heart, you'll hear the Savior's voice speaking to you through the Holy Ghost, whispering warm thoughts in your heart that make you want to be good and be the best person you can be. If you will trust your Heavenly Father, and listen to the Holy Ghost and always do what your Heavenly Father asks of you, there will be times when He'll work miracles in your life, just because you need them – no questions asked.
Ayla, we all go through hard times when we feel sad or lonely or we feel like we can go no farther. In those times, I want you to remember that you have people all around you, both near and far, who think about you, and worry about you, and love you every day. When those times come, I want you to remember that you can always pray and ask your Heavenly Father for help and guidance and power to move forward. If you'll remember to pray and ask for power and guidance from your Heavenly Father and your Savior, you need never feel alone. With Heavenly Father helping, and your Savior providing the power, and the Holy Ghost to guide you, there is nothing you can't do, nothing you can't overcome. With them helping, you can do anything! This blessing we leave with you...”
After the confirmation, I hugged Ayla, and told her I loved her, and how happy I was for her. I pretended to notice she was all wet, and asked her how that happened. She smiled at me as if to say “Dad, quit being silly!”. I couldn't help but think: the next time she sings a certain Primary song, it'll mean something different to her. “I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints...”
Everyone filed into the cultural hall, and we visited while final preparations were made and the food was brought out. Somebody had their priorities in order: jello salad was laid out on the table first, then the main course! Hawaiian haystacks are always a winner at big gatherings like this; how can you go wrong? Great, great Uncle Quinn pronounced a blessing on the food. We ate and talked; I gave Ayla her flowers, and left Bessie hers to find when she got around to it. Owen ran quite happily amok, following the other kids around like a big boy, stealing chocolate-chip cookies off the desert table and crawling under the stage – that is, until I discovered he'd loaded his diaper. I took him out to fix that little problem, and when we got back, things were coming to a close.
We took some last-minute pictures with Ayla and Bessie and their flowers, jumped in the van, and headed home in the rain. What a special day! Other than having left Ayla's baptism bracelet at home, it just couldn't have been any better. I can't wait until the next one!
Ayla Kaslin Smith was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Eden Second Ward, Huntsville First Stake on March 12, 2011 at 3:00 p.m. The meeting was conducted by the Ward Missionary Leader, Brother Steve Noel, with uncle John McKay Siggard and grandfather James Lee Smith serving as witnesses. Ayla was baptized by her grandfather, “Papa” Bruce Siggard, and confirmed by her father, Trent James Smith. Joining us in the circle were the following:
“Papa” Bruce Siggard (Grandfather)
John McKay Siggard (Uncle)
Ruston McKay (Great Uncle)
Quinn McKay (Great Great Uncle)
Trent James Smith (Father)
James Lee Smith (Grandfather)
Brandon Clyde Smith (Uncle)
Matthew DeYoung (Uncle, Aunt Jenna's husband)
Jacob Bernon Smith (Uncle)
